Blogging - We are Human here.

I love the concept of blogging. There are certain additions to the technology at hand that i can imagine would improve the overall experience (like sifting through and recording the thoughts from our heads directly onto the blog :3), but i love the fact that i can have my own little Digital Space in the Internet which houses my opinions, thoughts, ramblings, poems or whatever random thing i want to put on here. It lets me put off steam  on burning issues that probably matter little or nothing to anyone but me. Everyday occurences or Once in a lifetime experiences that seem noteworthy at the time for us to make the effort to keep a record of it in cyberspace.

And the truth is, somewhere in my heart, i hope that it would matter to some random other. That my experiences and views put on digital paper would be able to serve as a guide or as an inspiration to anyone who might happen to stumble on to my corner of the World Wide Web. Yes, all bloggers are philosophers at heart. Its not so much that we are self-assured or self-confident, rather that we give ourselves assurance and confidence that if we could actually pull out stuff from the pandora's box inside our heads and write something even vaguely coherent, we have accomplished a great achievement in our personal lives.

Certain People i know, are of the assumption that one of the main appeals of keeping a blog is the holier-than-thou persona we can assume under the guise of our digital nicknames. And in some sense, that is true. Especially to the outside eye, when a blogger truly unleashes his/her viewpoint on an issue, it gives off the aura that we are playing God in our blog. That a blog, especially a private or obscure one, lets us leave our inhibitions behind to show our true colours. And in that sense, all bloggers are egotists, atleast just a teensy little bit. And we all have the right to be. As humans, that is one of the seminal personality traits that is not approved of by the vast majority of societal human beings, that we can express completely and inconsequentially in our blogs.

BUT does that make us God? Having our piece of the universe that revolves and spins around our control, surely it can seem we have a divine control over the matter that permeates it. But the truth is, its not. Under our control. I believe, belief being the key word here, that we let our hearts, souls and minds bare here. That no matter how ordered or calculated our posts seem to be, we are all driven by the formless base sense of being a Human being. Psychologists will forever debate on what exactly it is that makes humans, well, humans. What is the exact thing that seemingly divides our psyches from other social organisms around us. Whether it is Unification Thought or Empathy or whatever other psychological construct it may be though, what i can say without a shadow of a doubt is that Blogging is one of the defining behaviours of a Human being.

We bare our minds, souls and hearts here. In whatever little way it may seem to be. In whatever overly dramatic, blown up reverie we seem to be in. If ever i question myself on the nature of my humanity, i will look upon my blog, that which i have written for NO reason, for NO logic, for NO gain or accolades and see myself, naked and pure (Shame, the same can't be said of questioning my sanity though >_<)

Ironic isn't it. That one of the things that so surely, positively affirms the warmth and organic existence of my human soul exists in cold, emotionless Computer Code.

  

I'm still not over you

 I asked you out on a date. You politely declined. I wrote you a letter and confessed my crush. You politely rejected it. I asked you whether you could ever look at me in a different way other than being a friend. You politely, directly, emphatically, felicitously, laconically said no. This all happened in the space of almost two months. The last event happened nearly two weeks ago. And i have tried hard to adjust to the role i have been given. Of being friendzoned, yet again.

 It didn't seem like that big a problem. In a lot of ways, you make for a good friend. You get my humour, which is always a big thing with me. You get the jokes, the subtle jabs and the ironic sarcasm i use. You react very pleasingly to situational jokes that i build up to. Most people i know wouldn't even last the building up part. We share a lot of common interests, though not necessarily in actual interests, rather categories of interests to a certain degree. Like movies, serials, comics, music, etc which you don't mind talking and discussing about. And you're also a brilliant Whatsapp companion, due to the aforementioned qualities and your penchant for choosing appropriately humorous smileys.
And, it isn't as if i've never been friendzoned before. I have. Quite a few times actually. In fact, a friend of mine once called me 'Mr. Friendzone', and proclaimed that if God ever chose to make a guy with all required qualities needed for a guy to be friendzoned, he just had to take me and throw out my sarcastic and anarchic tendencies. My experience with the matter is so high, that i saw all the telltale signs of a potential friendzone situation about to happen, before i even wrote my letter of confession. In many ways, i was already preparing myself to follow the same routine i had followed in the past, when a girl i might have liked took a needle to the balloon of romantic possibilities, before i sent you the letter. The only thing that surprised me at the end of the whole debacle, was that you could so nicely and genuinely ask me to continue being friends, despite having all the justification in the world to cut me off and label me as a neurotic stalker freak.

And so, by the time a week had passed, i believed we were well on our way to establishing a totally platonic relationship. And, to seal the deal, i started opening myself, or rather, forcing myself to look for other prospects to occupy my time. This isn't meant to sound anywhere near being Casanovic (Ooh look at that!! I made a new word!! Lets call it blog author's license. Casanovic - Having Casanova-like tendencies), because with all sense of self-respect, uh, i'm not, will not, and, for all sense and purpose, CAN NOT be a Casanova, even if i tried. Rather, anything and everything that could fill up my time, hobbies, entertainment, even work/studies, i gobbled up as much as possible. I even started engaging in conversation with people i hadn't or wasn't able to give much time or thought to before.

It was around then that i started talking to a particular girl, with whom i had had the pleasure of meeting once, very fleetingly, in Aizawl. She had become acquainted with my mother and brothers during a brief stay in Chennai while i was keeping my father company in Aizawl. We contacted each other through Facebook and built up a nice rapport. She was cute, very impulsive and was very nice to engage conversation with. She, like me, had a flair for searing sarcasm and acerbic satire. At some level, there may even be a mutual attraction. This rapport shifted seamlessly from digital conversation to auditory conversation and we started talking about relationship related topics. She sardonically offered to set me up with one of her friends and we even engaged in a bit of playful, innocent mock-flirting.

But then it happened. Fully aware i was just kidding around with her, and i'm sure she was too, i suddenly stopped the flow of conversation and, for no particular reason, told her that it wasn't possible for me to date anyone at the moment. Her curiosity aroused, and my tongue already set loose by our warm-up conversations, i went into a 5-minute long unscripted, unprovoked, unprepared explanation of my personal code of ethics when it comes to relationships, and how i was very awkward at focusing on more than one person at a time, especially when my feelings for the other person was muddling up my every other thought.

ESPECIALLY WHEN MY FEELINGS FOR THE OTHER PERSON WAS MUDDLING UP MY EVERY OTHER THOUGHT.

Funny how those moments of self realisation can creep up on you when you least expect them to.
It was like a stamp on to my consciousness from the sub-consciousness.

For Some Reason
For Some Unknown Reason
For Some Unknown Possibly Bizarre Reason
You were not being forgotten
You were not being marginalized in my thoughts
You were/are different than the others  i have ever had to go through the situation with.
(Cue - The Rasmus' Not Like the Other Girls in the background)

It doesn't even make sense that you are, for the same exact reasons it didn't make sense that i had started obsessing so much with you in the first place. We never met enough times to establish a physical (And i don't mean in a sexual way) connection. The few times we actually did meet, were probably the furthest thing from romantic interludes that two people can have while still forging a bond of some sort. You aren't, in the classic sense of the word, the most 'beautiful', 'pretty' or 'sexy' crush i have ever had (though this has NEVER been a criteria for my feelings towards women, the only reason i even mention these qualities is because i'm trying to find an equitably shallow reason for having a shallow crush). I don't know nearly enough about your mannerisms, your likes and dislikes, your quirks and qualities to proclaim a 'deep' and 'introspective' connection with your personality.

It doesn't make sense that i always imagine your stuttering laugh as you read a good joke, more so when its one of mine.
It doesn't make sense that i always imagine your eyes looking back up at me like you did when you were walking down the stairs before me when we went out the one time,
It doesn't make sense that i always think about you randomly being an airhead, and how i would love to be there when you run into a wall, and how i would rub your head and ask if you were alright with a wide smile on my face.
It doesn't make sense that i imagine how uncomplicated being in a relationship with you would be for both you and me, how nothing would need to change in how comfortable we were with each other before and after being in the relationship.
It doesn't make sense that i imagine all those sneaky, romantic tricks and surprises that i would be able to pull on you and how you would love them.
It doesn't make sense that i secretly believe that i could carry all your burdens and problems and would love to be the first person there for you if you ever needed somebody.
It doesn't make sense that i secretly hope that you would be able to deal with all my bullshit and be the person that i need, my muse, my cornerstone.
It doesn't make sense that i wonder how a first kiss would be, not to mention the 100th. Of course, it plays out perfectly in the theatre stage of my mind.
It doesn't make sense that i wonder how walking with you would be like, would we hold hands? Would we have that aura of warmth that all couples who are infected with the amphora of love seem to have as they stay within inches of each other, no physical contact needed to convey the security of having the person you love right next to you.

It doesn't make sense, even though it makes perfect sense. Even though i know, this is how crushes are supposed to be. Even though i know, that this is all me making stuff up in my head. Even though i know, that all i'm doing is writing an imaginary romance novel in my head, and not a good one at that either.
It doesn't make sense, with all my previous experiences and stoneheaded nature that i can fall into this trap one more time.
It doesn't make sense, with my brooding nature, my defeatist outlook and nihilistic tendencies, that i would still be so persistent with this flame, this flicker of a possible mutual emotional connection.

Is it that i have become more shallow as my teenage youth slips further away when it comes to matters of the heart? More easily susceptible to falling deeper into the pit of prospective love? More impulsive and stubborn than ever?

Whatever the reason, No matter how pathetic and hopeless it makes me look and whatever step i take from here on in, No matter how embarrassing this might/will be to remember and read again in the future, the fact of the matter is this. That, right now, without a shadow of a doubt, I, the sarcastic, cynical, anarchic me,

I AM SO NOT OVER YOU!!

Rules of Engagement (Work in Progress)

This is NOT a how-to guidebook!!
I do not proclaim to be a person well versed in the art of starting, maintaining or even breaking up a relationship and i do not profess that these rules are the be all, end all of all Date related rules.
But these are the basic rules i personally believe in and try my best to adhere to when it comes to Dating and all that is related to them.

Note :- For archiving purposes mainly and is put up more for personal reasons rather than a public manifesto.

APPROACHING SOMEONE/ASKING SOMEONE OUT ON A DATE :-

1. This should NEVER happen if you're in a relationship or even in a semi-relationship, ie, even if you are not talking to each other, as long as the relationship ties are not broken.
2. Make sure the other person is not in a relationship or in a semi-relationship. You can never be 100% sure, but make sure you cover all possible bases before you make a push.
3. No matter how much you think you've fallen in love with her or are attracted to her, ALWAYS ask her out on a date before all else. Firstly, 99% of the time its just a crush, not love, and Secondly, if its truly worth it, better to start it off right.
4. If she rejects your Date proposal, take it like a man and don't push it much. Take at least a week off to cool down and re-assess things and if you still can't stop thinking about her, tell her about your dilemma. If she's willing to go out the second time around, good for you. If not, then back away, for both your sakes.
5. If the girl happens to be directly related to one of your friends, notify the friend for sure, either before you approach the girl, or at least right after you have approached the girl. Do NOT try to hide it, and do NOT try to delay it.
6. If the girl happens to be directly/indirectly connected to an ex-girlfriend or flame, inform her after you've tried approaching her. unless you have been specifically asked by the girl not to inform the ex, and that too for a legitimate reason.

GOING OUT ON DATES :-

1. The First Date should be a hands off affair whose purpose is to test the waters, and verify your feelings for each other, NOT a kop-a-feel-first-chance-you-get debacle.
2. The venue must be a place where both of you will be comfortable preferably, and if that cannot be arranged, her comfort must be given importance.
3. If possible, PAY for at LEAST the food and most amenities on the first date.
4. Picking her up is preferable, but Dropping her back is ESSENTIAL, unless a major catastrophe takes place. This counts whether the date was a success or not.
5. Pay can be shared from 2nd/3rd Date Onwards.

Blessed Curse

  For me, to Fall in Love with Someone would mean to achieve a state of being, where your heart and soul are devoted, at least partially, to a person of the other sex (in my case, female) due to various factors, physical and mental attraction being two of the foremost of them and which goes beyond just an initial surge of hormones and curiosity, and that is most genuinely tested by time and perseverance. To Fall in Love with Someone doesn't always lead to the opportunity to love that someone, much less to BE loved back by that someone.

  It is a Blessing that i can say that i have experienced Falling in Love, Being Loved and Having been Loved. It is also My Curse to say those same exact things.

  To those who underrate the power of the emotion of Love, to those who scoff at the notion of Romance, believe you me, when you fall into it, there is no pit deeper, no mountain higher, no cliff steeper than the chasm you will feel open inside of you. A tornado of feelings that swirl around you as you sit in the middle of the eye of the storm, the wind filled with cheesy cliches, emphatic achievements and unforgettable moments. You will be driven to perform feats you only ever dreamt of doing, you will be pushed to perform actions that challenge everything you ever thought you knew about yourself and you will be both stronger and more vulnerable than you have ever been.

  When you achieve that Nirvanic moment when all three come together, you enter a period of Bliss where everything you thought that was right about the world will seem to just show up on your doorstep, and every small event that involves you and your partner will be given an added touch of Destiny. Every action you do, every commitment you make and every resolution you adhere to will all turn out perfectly how you want them to. Every movement your partner makes, every moment you spend together will be Perfect. You will understand each other completely, you will learn more and more amazing things about them and when you're with them, you will feel that you are the closest to being perfect than you have ever been or ever will be. Dreams will be shared, Objectives will be re-assessed and Schedules will be combined. Even when you're not with them, you will think about them, and how everything around you seems to have some quality that reminds you of them.

  The feelings, emotions, events and moments you will go through during this period are completely original, unique and irreplaceable. In short, you will never have the same experience more than once. Similar maybe, but never the same.

  And as i have experienced all these things, i have been cursed that i will forever remember these things even as life mundanely starts over again, day by day, moment after moment. Even after that someone has left or been left, even after your separation has been finalised with conviction and stamped down by the spectre of distance. Even after hate starts entering life, along with cynicism and negativity, nothing will ever truly compare to the rush that is had when you are in Love. How will i deal with it? Will i shut myself off from the world, resigned to the fact that i shall never replace those feelings again? Will i pursue it in other avenues, desperately seeking that elusive ambrosia. forgetting everything else along the way? I don't know yet, I'm still seeking it out....

Intrusion of Privacy - The Blitz Invasive

Previous Acquaintance serves as the Invitation Card
Distilled Beverage plays the role of icebreaker
In a moderately lit, medium size, mediocre inn
So near and far from our homes, both the departed one
And the other soon to be arriven.

I do not keep close watch, nostalgia grips me.

Three in number, Modest in clothing
Smiles wide, arm stretches out in clasp of friendship
Caretaker welcomes the welcome faces
That provide a vague memory of companionship past
And of ones mayhap be forged anew.

I notice them, interest unpiqued.

Consumption of intoxication, with froth and frolic
Recount Tales of times past and forgotten
Some are vivid, others probably hallucinated
As sharpness of mind dulls with passage of time
Appendages under it are set more free.

I survey them, lopsided thoughts asunder.

The Seed are proclaimed, vaunted and touted
Of large girth and Smart build,
A blessing from Jehovah and continuation of legacy
Attention is turned to the fledglings of the nest
Appearances are straightened to please.

I smile at them, half attention turned to future joy.

Eyes glint and Smiles Widen,
"Yes, the growth seems good and the height seems right
But what lays out may cover soft inside", he proclaims
And changes direction of face to mine
Partakes another sip of declining wine.

I frown at him, focus shifts to his active pose.

Dark silhouettes alone remembered,
Not a line of face or impression of features
Not even the size or depth of body figure
As elder hand darts out a sudden
And catches the collar with a jerk

I squirm, thrown upon false hope of comfort.

Laughter abounds as shoulders are pinned down
Boozen breath encompasses all smell
And hand stretches down to lower tunic
Clasping metal key to portal of privacy
And pulls sharply down to pry open

I grimace, small smile hides growing fear.

PRIVACY VIOLATED, NO WARNING WAS GIVEN.
INVASIVE BLITZ, NO SHIELD WAS SET UP.
MANHOOD REVEALED, IN ALIEN GRASP.
CAUGHT OUT AND PULLED UP, PUT ON DISPLAY
THE AIR IS COLD, THE TOUCH IS CHILLING
BLOOD RUNS COLD, SHAME GROWS QUICKENING.
TEST OF MASCULINITY,
PROBING OF SANITY,
THOUGH THE MOMENT IS FLEETING,
HIDDEN HATE LASTS ETERNITY!!

Shuffle and Sweep!

Time slows down, Surroundings blur, Noise gets zoned out and your body goes limp in the arms of 'The One' as he hoists you and carries you into the sunset. Congratulations you have just been swept off your feet. And Congratulations, you're a Drama Queen.

Now now, before you call me a fuddy duddy unromantic stick in the mud, i have nothing against this particular scene. If two people are actually able to enact this scene naturally, and share a special moment in their lives, more power to them. I personally would love this happening to me in the future, though how long i can hold the lucky damsel (or is that unlucky) in my arms would be a predicament.
What i do have an issue with, is that people, and not just women, believe that it is some sort of stamp of approval for 'the relationship'. Some even take it to mean its a sign of a romantic story that ends with a Happily ever after. I've been in two relationships and both had similar circumstances and moments played out. Take note that the last sentence was written in the past tense.
Are you sure that you want to stake the entirety of a relationship, with its complexities, little nitpicking moments, misunderstandings and adjustments, on one sole, admittedly special moment? No matter how perfect its played out?

While men obviously want to make the best impression on women and will try their best TO sweep them off their feet, i think i can say on behalf of most men, we'd be pretty happy with just a shuffle of the feet in our general direction. It doesn't even have to be a confident pitter-patter of excitedness. A nervous, clumsy stumbling shuffle is many a times more comfortable for the guy himself, who isn't exactly in his comfort zone either. When you think about it, how can he be? When his actions and demeanour are measured against the standards of such stalwarts like Clark Gable, James Dean, Brad Pitt, Richard Gere and Hugh Grant.

Men truly interested in a relationship are not looking for an instantaneous 100% satisfactory response. The woman that looks dreamily into the eyes of a guy she doesn't even know that well, and says she loves him just because he gave her one special moment doesn't sound overtly healthy.
Contrary to popular belief, we can actually play the deep, patient, understanding partner if given the chance. But to do so, we would like a little nod to show us the way. It doesn't have to be an obvious signboard with blinking fluorescent lights, just a little sign of approval that can make us feel like we're not obsessed stalkers as we go about dedicating our life, piece by piece to another human being who hopefully shares her life too.

I AM a romantic. I believe in the whole old school Chocolates, Flowers and Walking hand in hand through a Garden shtick. But i have to admit, the whole sweeping off the feet thing is an impossible situation, the way most women imagine it to be. The 'right guy' does not just pop out of the blue, the Knight in Shining armor doesn't always come riding in a White Horse. Sometimes by the time he arrives, he's removed his armor, thrown away the sword and shield and gotten off his horse so that he can stand face to face with his princess, and feel her touch as he hugs her passionately. And most of the times he's a person you've already known in your life, but never looked at in a certain way.

Sometimes the feeling of getting swept off your feet doesn't happen with a guy in a tux and a girl in a gown in a perfectly lit evening with a romantic background and gasping cheering onlookers. Sometimes it happens as you sit side by side watching a show together, as you walk in a crowded street with the guy making way for the girl.
Sometimes, the sweeping off of the feet comes AFTER your relationship is solidified and you know that you can truly trust the person you are standing with, or hovering in the air in his arms with. And in many ways, that can be THE most special way of being swept off your feet.

Note : This is just me rambling on, not self-referential at alllll >_>

Dear Bette Davis Eyes

I know that this probably won't ever reach you. I also know that even if it did, its probably redundant considering the fact that my feelings for you aren't exactly a secret to you, or to a certain few friends of ours. But even though i did say i really liked you, and you acknowledged it, i never really got to explain the way i feel or how these feelings came to be. I'm not overemphasizing it, i know that this is probably just a crush because we barely got to meet that much (even though the few times we did were an unexpected pleasure) and we both don't even know that much about each other, the nuances and subtleties that make a person who he or she is. I also realise that this, being a crush, is probably just the product of a fervent heart and feverish mind and the way i look at you or portray you here is purely from my feelings. But i do know that these feelings are strong, atleast for now, and it helps me when i get these things off my chest and mind, atleast onto a written form, no matter how embarrassing they might turn out to be later on. So, here it is, my mind, soul and heart laid bare at this particular moment, for this particular experience in my life.

I don't know when the exact moment i started finding you attractive was. A little secret is that i found you adorably cute back when we first met, with your shy nature and sweet smile and your few extra pounds. But back then, and i'm not saying this just to excuse myself, it would take me another 2 years to actually develop the maturity to be truly attracted to a girl, lady or woman in a not-so-innocent way and if i am to be entirely honest here, i was in the middle of a childhood crush at the time.

Maybe it was when we met each other again out of the blue after such a long time, and how we didn't recognise each other until our parents started talking to each other. Maybe it was when we had a reunion of sorts over coffee with our mutual friend and your sister.

What i do know for sure, though, is the exact moment that you hit me like a ton of lead bricks falling from the sky and left me completely dumbstruck. It was outside of a church, right after a wedding service and i was standing on the roadside close to the entrance of the church waiting for a few of my friends to get ready. Hands in my pocket, wondering about the reception that was about to happen and thinking about how i was going to get my car out of that traffic mess.

I innocently turned my head to look around at the crowd.

To be honest, i don't even remember what you were wearing that day, the colour, the type of dress, the length.

I remember your eyes. We were standing atleast 10 feet away from each other, around 15 people between us. And I remember your eyes.
Half closed, with that oh-so-subtle natural smokey seductiveness that i can't stop noticing since then.
Your Bette Davis eyes.

And your smile. Kind of crooked towards the right, not too showy but showing just enough emotion to know that you were happy. Your hands were folded, arms outstretched down the front and you were holding something in your hand. Your back was arched in an angle that wasn't straight but wasn't too curvy either.

I like to think that it was when you saw me seeing you that you smiled but i'm not entirely sure, but it was when we made eye contact (or atleast when i made contact with your eye) that everything stopped moving.

The world froze for 2 seconds.

I remember us making conversation, but it was just words giving excuse for a chance to stand beside you and be looking at you without being overbearing or feeling like a stalker.

After the event, I brushed it aside. Logic took over. Too many things to consider, too many things that blocked me from you. And i covered it up with thoughts of everything that was affecting my life more pressingly then.

But the seed was planted. Even when my friends set me up on dates, even when i tried my best to be as openly available to relationships and flings.

And then i left town.

'Your blog is good' *Note* If you want to get a guy's attention, knowingly or unwittingly, there is no better way than appreciating something he considers a creation of his own. Especially when its an internet venture fueled by artistic expression and isn't obviously accessible. Who knows how you got to know that i wrote a blog, much less be interested in checking it out, but in my mind that set a few wheels rolling.

Yes, i posted the link on my Facebook profile, but few people even know such a feature exists. And even if they did, how many people actually check out another person's details and profile that thoroughly unless they were atleast a little bit interested. 

Damn the fact that you could've just been idly passing the time randomly checking out people's facebook uploads and statuses, damn the fact that you were probably just being polite.

In my mind, it was like a sign. Lol. I just had to lol right now, sorry about that. *Cough**Cough*

There are an unlimited number of ways i can portray myself as unworthy for wooing someone's affections. I used to do it all the time. Variations of "i'm not good enough"+"she won't get me"+"Our circles are different" types of reasons. But since the time i've been going on dates, i've matured in a way that i can choose to protray myself and not be affected much with how the person reacted because in the end i'll always have me, and i don't want to ever be hitched to a person i can't be myself with. 
It was so natural when i went out with you. In a totally unnatural way. I've been in relationships before, i've loved and been loved. I've been in awkward situations where i had no idea how to go about them, and i've been in totally easy situations where everything was properly controlled. When you let me take you out, it SHOULD have been an awkward situation. It SHOULD have been me stumbling around, uneasy and nauseous. But it wasn't. You were an unknown variable, still probably are. I didn't know what you liked, how you went about doing things, how you preferred to talk. But you made me want to find out. You still do. Even when i asked you out on a date, and you politely declined, i SHOULD have been naturally backing away. And maybe its really superficial of me to base my reason not to on this, but you smiled and you looked at me when you did. Do you know your nose twitches a bit when you get nervous? Do you know that you have a slight clumsiness about you when you walk? Especially when you go down a slope? Do you know that you have the most comfortable way of being nervous?

I don't regret a thing that happened or didn't happen, obviously i wished that something more substantial came out of all this, and sometimes i wonder what would've happened if i had played the bad guy when i had the chance. But i didn't. I played me, with you. And i'm happy, because i was able to be me, with you. I also wonder, were you ever really yourself with me? Not just trying to adjust to me, or portraying a persona that you thought suited the occasion and my company? But that was your choice, and i can do nothing but wonder.

And maybe this won't go any further. Maybe i'll forget you and we may never meet again. Maybe we'll keep in touch and become friends and totally familiar with each other laughing about the time i thought about wooing you. Or maybe, just maybe, something might happen. Maybe the dream i have of a lady in front of me, on top of a castle, with a lake reflecting the full moon in the background, looking back at me smiling, in a silver gown turns out to be you. Maybe the laughter of the girl running through the green fields on the slope of icy mountaintops, turns out to be yours. Maybe the touch of the woman's hand on mine as we sit in front of a fire in a cottage alone at night, as crickets mate and firewood crackles, turns out to be yours.  

Everything, or Nothing, as long as it is Something, and not just Anything.