Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Blessed Curse

  For me, to Fall in Love with Someone would mean to achieve a state of being, where your heart and soul are devoted, at least partially, to a person of the other sex (in my case, female) due to various factors, physical and mental attraction being two of the foremost of them and which goes beyond just an initial surge of hormones and curiosity, and that is most genuinely tested by time and perseverance. To Fall in Love with Someone doesn't always lead to the opportunity to love that someone, much less to BE loved back by that someone.

  It is a Blessing that i can say that i have experienced Falling in Love, Being Loved and Having been Loved. It is also My Curse to say those same exact things.

  To those who underrate the power of the emotion of Love, to those who scoff at the notion of Romance, believe you me, when you fall into it, there is no pit deeper, no mountain higher, no cliff steeper than the chasm you will feel open inside of you. A tornado of feelings that swirl around you as you sit in the middle of the eye of the storm, the wind filled with cheesy cliches, emphatic achievements and unforgettable moments. You will be driven to perform feats you only ever dreamt of doing, you will be pushed to perform actions that challenge everything you ever thought you knew about yourself and you will be both stronger and more vulnerable than you have ever been.

  When you achieve that Nirvanic moment when all three come together, you enter a period of Bliss where everything you thought that was right about the world will seem to just show up on your doorstep, and every small event that involves you and your partner will be given an added touch of Destiny. Every action you do, every commitment you make and every resolution you adhere to will all turn out perfectly how you want them to. Every movement your partner makes, every moment you spend together will be Perfect. You will understand each other completely, you will learn more and more amazing things about them and when you're with them, you will feel that you are the closest to being perfect than you have ever been or ever will be. Dreams will be shared, Objectives will be re-assessed and Schedules will be combined. Even when you're not with them, you will think about them, and how everything around you seems to have some quality that reminds you of them.

  The feelings, emotions, events and moments you will go through during this period are completely original, unique and irreplaceable. In short, you will never have the same experience more than once. Similar maybe, but never the same.

  And as i have experienced all these things, i have been cursed that i will forever remember these things even as life mundanely starts over again, day by day, moment after moment. Even after that someone has left or been left, even after your separation has been finalised with conviction and stamped down by the spectre of distance. Even after hate starts entering life, along with cynicism and negativity, nothing will ever truly compare to the rush that is had when you are in Love. How will i deal with it? Will i shut myself off from the world, resigned to the fact that i shall never replace those feelings again? Will i pursue it in other avenues, desperately seeking that elusive ambrosia. forgetting everything else along the way? I don't know yet, I'm still seeking it out....


DayDreamBeliever said...

Very well-written, Mike! I can so identify with much of what you're talking about.

Njldst said...

And the one i wanted you to have a look at wasn't this one ha2. Still, Mucho appreciation that you bothered looking my blog up in the first place, fellow cursed one :)