Sunday, July 21, 2013

Imperfect Perfection

This is a whimsical post in the sense that I’ve thought about and wrote about in the space of a few minutes.  So basically I’m putting this up on the basis of my current state of mind. So I might quite possibly probably embarrassingly regret putting this up later. Besides, it’s a silly old mouldy topic, one that I may have touched on several times before too, in this blog.

STILL, I’m putting this up.

Now, a fair warning. This is first and foremost a personal post. Based on my personal feelings and my opinion FOR myself. And secondly, this post is about love, specifically about what I think, right now, constitutes my requirements for a relationship. So for anyone not interested in reading a self-obsessed article about one of the oldest and most well documented topics in history, stop reading now.

NOW, quite simply put : I want a woman, and if possible, a relationship with a woman who GETS me. Knows me, understands me and accepts me. Yup. The old cliché. God, this article is so old news. But here’s the catch, I’m actually going to explain how that works.

It seems like a very simple concept, and also a pretty much straight forward one. I assure you, its not.
When people normally say this, they mean it in a very vague sense.
How complicated could it be? Well lets see.

First off, the person has to know me. Which means the lady has to have an idea of who I am with atleast a fair bit of knowledge about what I am, the way I do things, and the things I like too. This suggests a fair bit of socialising (or stalking)
Secondly, the person has to understand me. Understand why I do the things I do, say the things I say and behave the way I do. Again, this means that the person has to have an understanding of me. Also, it would require that the person must atleast be basically similar to me, because only someone who’s got a personality with some common traits with mine could understand me.
Thirdly, and this is the doozy one, the person has to accept me.

So basically, if I know the qualities that attract me to a person, and that person seems to like me back, is that enough?
If I find a girl who’s interested in the things that interest me, can hold a conversation with me and have a fun time with me, and vice versa, shouldn’t that be more than enough?
 Sadly, its still a no.

Again, when people normally use the phrase, I want someone who gets me blahblahblah, it seems like an attempt to seem deeper than the apparent shallowness of saying I want a hot chick or I want someone for their physical attributes but their inner being. BULLSHIT.
Those who know me well, know that I believe that attempting to shun the notion that outside appearance is important is simply not right. Its against nature. Its against the basic primal laws that govern us as living creatures. Do I say that looks alone matter? That the beauty without is most important? NO. But, Looks DO matter.
Initial attraction aside though, should it pose a factor afterwards? Yes, and it does. Look, first off one must have a clear idea about one’s own looks and standards. Not be vain OR humble. I personally know that there are people who consider me fairly good looking, and there are those who just go meh at me. So, if the person looks significantly better than a person of my standard would usually attract, I will obviously feel a bit cautious. NOT intimidated, cautious. How could she like me? What if some Tom Cruise wannabe comes along? Same goes with a person who may seem intellectually forward as compared to oneself.

You HAVE to be attracted to the one you profess to love. That’s how you differentiate love from like, from admiration.

And (this is the part which might be a controversial), for the ones who might not be exactly upto my standard? (I sincerely mean this in the least vain, asshole way possible, BELIEVE me L) For the ones who may completely totally accept who I am?
Then you get the feeling that the person is TOO dedicated, TOO in love with you. And believe me, its not a good thing. Maybe it is for those who want a very simple, straightforward, no-obstacles-smooth-running relationship. NOT for me.

So basically, what I want is imperfect perfection.
Someone who IS like me.
And who may give space for that imperfection, but someone I still love enough to want to improve on the imperfection. And that in turn would affect her the same way too.
A relationship that is natural, that happens to be so damn good, not because the people in it are trying too hard to change things to make it that damn good. But because the people in it are trying their best of their own accord, BECAUSE the relationship is that worth it.

And man, is it f*cking rare.

Want to know why?? Because if you look carefully, It is waaaay too similar to the definition of a perfect friendship. And people will scoff that I’ve got it mixed up.
But I haven’t. Because somewhere somehow, the perfect relationship is also the perfect friendship.

These revelations have basically doomed me to forever be unsatisfied with anything lesser.

To anyone who actually does find this relationship, You are the luckiest two people on the planet. In your own way. Kudos.

No comments: